Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
You don't make any sense
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