Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
