Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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