I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
