So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
you win again, gameday.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
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