I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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