Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
