we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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