OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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