11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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