he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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