so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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