I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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