I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
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I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
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It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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