I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
