Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
