so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
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