i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
