walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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