I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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