is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
