I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
