we need to drink 2009 down the drain
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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