If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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