Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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