Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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