New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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