You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
