Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
