giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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