We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
