I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize