I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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