But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
