I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
