I never want to see another naked old woman again.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
