Your face is a jimmy john
More tranny stories later!
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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