with your own penis?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
