nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
should my penis look like a turkey
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
