It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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