Porn is love you can see.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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