He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
