I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
