Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
