Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
