so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
