My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
