East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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