just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
