Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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