sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
