the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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