So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
