Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Randomize
