sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
