Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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