Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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