Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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