Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
