I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
