i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize