too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
