you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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